Monday, 14 October 2013


It's been a long time, over a year in fact, since my last post. A lot has changed. A LOT.

For those who read my blog before 2013, thank you for returning and giving me another chance to waffle on and talk about this and that. For the newcomers, brace yourselves...


Those who read my rants back in 2012, will obviously remember me planning my wondrous trip to Southeast Asia. That happened - January 9th to June 29th. I've been home nearly 4 months and yes, I'm still severely missing the fun of backpacking through foreign countries. I will be writing about that in more detail, but you shall have to hang on for a bit while I get back into the swing of blogging.

I'm working again now; no longer a bin man, no longer selling clothes at Next. Instead I'm starting my new job of selling jewellery in a franchise called Pandora. Well it's different for a start, to what I'm used to - but I like challenges, and I'm going to relish this new venture.

My taste in music has changed dramatically, for the better though. No longer do I party hard to the likes of Dubstep and House... well sometimes I do, but alcohol has a lot to do with that! Instead, pure funk and soul emanates from my headphones, the kind that you could only find back in '60s and '70s, the kind that you can't help but move your feet to, the kind that always puts a smile on your face.

I read a lot more, and I enjoy it a lot more too! I suppose all those bus journeys and long waits in stations out in Asia did the trick.

I eat healthier and get out more. A big change from the indoor recluse I had become towards the end of last year. I feel better about myself.

Acting is a thing of the past, sadly, but I just wasn't enjoying it anymore - no way near as much as I used to. But my photography is coming along, slowly but surely, and once I get my new camera I'm sure you'll be seeing a lot more of my work.

I've lost friends, and gained many more, from all over the globe. But that is what happens as you progress in life. I've got a great family behind me still, some close friends who I think of as my siblings, and a girlfriend who I adore and who I hope will always be there for me. 

I'm happy - the happiest I've been in a long time!


As this was only intended to be an update, I'll keep it short and sweet. I'm hoping I do get back into this whole blogging 'malarky'. For myself and for you guys out there that read it. Thank you once again for coming back.


Tuesday, 6 March 2012

we all want kids. but really...

Being a man of impeccable taste; spending my nights in reading the latest issue of FHM (no ladies, it's not actually a porn mag, get your facts right) slowing nibbling on a pack of hobnobs, and browsing The Sun online, I find it hilarious to come across an article entitled...

Benefits cheat mum invented 10 children

Now, if you fancy re-reading the sentence above, be my guest, because it took me several times before I finally got it drummed into my head. No, not because I'm slightly of the stupid nature and I cannot read, but because I was shocked and entertained by what I read. A British mother; a mother of two mind you, who for the record are not disabled as she said in a claim to get more benefits, wants more money. Spends her daytime sitting on her 'poor' ass all day whilst caring for her other 10 kids. The only problem is - those 10 kids are not real! Now, we've all heard the ploy of making up a kid or two to claim more benefits (if you haven't then it's probably just my weird mind) but to come up with 10 kids is just plain silly.

You miss, are a silly billy.

I do have three problems with the subject. Three problems that are causing me a lot of stress and I really shouldn't be stressing over them. 

#1. Did she name each one? I mean, did she think of a gender? Did she convert rooms of the house so each one could have a bedroom? Imagine if she had family or friends round, or a social worker maybe - "where are the kids?"... "oh, they're all down Lidl getting my shopping" It wouldn't work for long.

#2. A family friend knew about the whole f**king scheme! "She was then told about this foolish scheme by a friend. She was always going to be caught." The article doesn't mention whether it was this friend who 'dobbed' her in, but come on, who would know something like this and not let anyone know. Yes you may use the excuse of being a 'good friend' but if you think about it theoretically, that mum of 12 (whose name by the way should be dually noted - Sarah Jane Smith, and I will get on to that subject) is claiming benefits from the government. These benefits are made up from taxes by your everyday tax payer. Also known as, the friend who found out! She is paying for John and Susan and Edgar and Boris and Nancy and all the rest of the 'children' to live their fictional made-up lives. 

#3. Sarah Jane Smith. Sarah Jane 'f**king' Smith! Now, either that is a codename used by the paper to cover up her real identity or her parents genuinely went on a journey with Doctor Who and felt it necessary to pay homage to the mans most well known assistant. Now one of her kids better be called Davros or I'm taking action! And I bet she's using some of the claimed money, a whopping £42.000, to keep her dog, ironically named K-9, in good health. 

But reading this article has given me a proper insight into how low some of the nation will go to get the money others quite clearly deserve. Sarah Jane obviously felt her 10 fictional kids came before every other real child in this country. 

Or she could be using the money to build her own TARDIS?



It's the year 2012. The months have already 
breezed into a cold, rainy March. The United 
Kingdom is in great peril, being on the verge
of an internet shut-down and not only that but
the country is being run by David Cameron.

Darth Vader didn't die, he just exiled from the 
planet many years ago after loosing a lightsaber 
battle to Boris Johnson. Luke Skywalker is now 
working in TK MAXX in Croydon and Princess Leia 
and Hans Solo have 15 kids; 6 with ASBO's.

A new hero must step in.

... Unfortunately, Charlie Chaplin died 35 years ago. 
So another, less funny and less wacky, hero has been 
picked for the job.

JACKSON TIGWELL! *cue cheesy intro music*

"... So you're back, from outer space. I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face..." 

First and foremost, for all the new readers, I'm Jackson. I write and do photography stuffs. For all the golden oldies, I'm back from a long period of doing sweet F-all, eating hobnobs and watching old re-runs of Top Gear. I would be lying if I said I was kidding. Only joking, about the whole "I'd be lying if I said I was kidding", which isn't true. And neither is the whole doing sweet F-all bit. No really, I've been swamped with an intolerable amount of coursework and nowadays spend most of my work wages on food, beer and clothes. To all those who noticed, I've changed the blog name and redesigned it - ain't that a kick in the head... 

It's funny how a little break from writing an absolute load of tosh can play with your mind. The last time you heard from me, I was in a bit of a pickle with friends abandoning me, I was getting pretty down and I wanted to eat my body weight in hobnobs (I just added that bit in tehehe). I can admit fully that what I wrote prior to this is absolute crap, and I really cannot promise anything from here-on-in. 

But what I can say is that from now on, I will be writing every day. Some of the posts will have morals, some won't. Some will be cheery, some won't. Some will be so utterly random that if you read this before bed you probably won't get any sleep because you'll be lying awake all night questioning your own existence... I do this frequently, and it really pisses me off. Why am I here God? Tell me why you invisible, heavenly, bearded twat?! *cough cough*

But fret not my little 'goonies', for I will try to entertain you.
                                                 Some way. Some how.


Wednesday, 4 January 2012

A melancholy town where we never smile...

Our feelings easily cloud our own judgment, and it's stupid to think that everything, or everybody, in this world is 'practically perfect in every way'. Like I said in my last post, I'm in an empty space at the moment, a limbo-esque sort of environment, and even though it's only in my mind, it's still the way I'm feeling inside and out. Everything is perfect to everybody, but me. I can see peoples flaws and life's flaws. Similar to the meaning of the song Feel Good Inc. by Gorillaz...

"You've got a new horizon, It's ephemeral style.
A melancholy town where we never smile.
And all I wanna hear is the message beep.
My dreams, they've got to kiss, because I don't get sleep, no..."

But I'm going to stay on top of this feeling, this shit feeling. I'm going to cover my eyes up once more, so I won't see the real truth about how shit life can be. So I can play pretend in a nicer place. 

Rant over.

Tuesday, 3 January 2012

"I love being alone, but hate being left out."

I believe that being alone is a great feeling; we all enjoy time to ourselves because we can relax and unwind. Then again, the feeling of being with friends, mucking about and generally having a laugh, is an even better feeling. What we hate is the feeling when you're in a close group of friends and they all organise events or time together and miss you out. We hate it - it's our instinct to hate it. It leads us to wonder whether we are actually part of the group.

At school, primary and/or secondary, we meander into a group of people who can't necessarily relate to us; you are friends with them because you enjoy the company of each other and because you have some others to talk to. When you arrive at college and university, it's a totally different plate of food, excuse the expression. You find a certain group of people who for once, are fully interested in the same past times and activities as yourself. 

The fact is, I'm stuck at the moment in the limbo between social breakthrough and loneliness of the fourth degree. I feel that my group of friends, who relate to me in every way possible; we're all wacky, expressionistic and incredibly outgoing; don't really find me a part of their 'family' so-to-speak, because they're all on a 24/7 course and I'm completing 3 A-Levels. I don't see them every day and I feel that because of this, I'm drifting from their group, and I hate the fact I'm isolated from them.

I'm eighteen in two days, and several of my lovelies are turning eighteen either this week too, or over the next few weeks, and hopefully being able to participate in nights out and gatherings, travel too, will get my loneliness to piss off. But I suppose that being lonely at some point in our lives helps us realise what we've got, what we had and what we need. Knowing those things helps us to become, not a different person, but a better and more confident person.

"Writing is an antidote for loneliness." - Steven Berkoff

Saturday, 31 December 2011

Revelations and Resolutions

I guess THIS is my last post of a very unusual year - perhaps borderline entertaining. Well we all make resolutions for when a New Year starts, and very few of these resolutions are actually carried out; for some people anyway, kudos to those who get them done! And to tell the truth, I can't even remember what I set myself last year, so I can't be too sure I've accomplished them, but I'll tell you this; for me, New Years is a time where people are brought together to celebrate and we get another 365 days to get to know ourselves better (forgive the cheesy unintentional rhyme). So what was 2011 for me?

2011 was the year I performed in my last show with my drama school, and played my very first drag role. It was the year I starred in my very first lead role. It was the year I got together with my girlfriend. It was the year I realised I had a passion for writing. It was the year I got mixed results for first year A-levels. It was the year I got to know who my real friends are and who aren't. It was the year I was incredibly stupid. It was the year of many regrets. 2011 was the year I also became fixed on certain genres of music. It was the year I realised that for the first time, I had somebody who really cared for me. It was the year of many hilarious outings. It was the year of seeing a best friend after 5 years. It was also the year of realising that my best friend is only a call away. It was the year I bucked up my ideas. And it was the first year I've ever met someone online who I talk to regularly, and who I've got connections with too. It was the year I will surely remember for a very long time. 

2011 was the year of shockingly awful revivals of old TV shows, and new drivel that managed to drag viewers by the thousands. It was the year E.T got his big break becoming part of Little Mix and winning the X-Factor; I really didn't know he could sing. I'm now not as much of a TV addict as my previous self. I rarely find time to watch it, and the time that I do have, I won't watch it.

This year has been your average year of a rollercoaster of emotions, ups and downs, broken friendships and family ties. I've become closer with the people who I reckon will remain with me for my life, and drifted from those who were just summer companions. I went through an incredibly rough patch and have pulled through. So I've come to the conclusion that these bright and happy New Years resolutions that people are adamant on making, hardly ever come true without a few hiccups on the way. That's life, I guess. But I've learned to forget about all the shit times, as they'll only bring you down, now and in later life. My school days, though some of my best, are now floating away into the distance, and the future is quickly shooting in. What will 2012 hold for me? It will be the year of one of the biggest decisions of my life - leaving home to fly 11,000 miles away. The year I leave college. The year I will make many new friends. But I really do hope the ones I have now, the ones who understand me for me, stay put. 

So what does 2012 have in store for you?

Rant over.

“Patience is the ability to count down before you blast off”

I suppose this is my last post of 2011, and I'm glad to say this whole blogging lark has really grown on me; so long may this continue! But what is this post all about? I mean, during the past couple of weeks, I have looked at my blog and thought "Am I really cut up to do this?" or "Do I just end this now?". I haven't written a post since Christmas, and I really haven't had the time to write anything. But to me, I feel that writing this blog is a release; a break to let off all the absolute tosh that's sitting on top of my brain!

People say to me that you're blog is supposed to have a theme, that is why people become interested in it. But as you know, mine is about absolutely everything; anything that comes into my mind at that point of time, or something that has been bugging me for quite a while. I find that this is not only a break for me, but for you readers too. I mean, I can understand that some readers are dedicated to tips on cooking and driving cars etc, but I just want to write to give my readers a cheery, maybe even funny, insight into my life.

And what with the end of the world starting its big countdown as of tomorrow, I thought "STUFF IT!", so readers for one of my New Years Resolutions, I'm really going to put more effort into what I'm writing this coming year. And I really hope you give a few minutes of your day to read it. It would make me that little bit happier x

Rant over.