"Are we not like two volumes of one book?"

I can't see the 'campness'... can you?

Its about time I wrote about this twat. Introducing James - my best mate. Where would I be today if I hadn't of met him 5 years ago? To tell the truth, I'd be a very boring person. I mean, I wasn't that boring in the days before these, I was able to have a laugh, and create one too, but this guy here is the centre of my banter! Since I first met him in the sweet little year of 2006, my life has been on its ups, downs, round and round and back through a dark misty tunnel like some campy 90's theme park ride. Its strange how you are suddenly attached to one person like ZZAP!, but it happens, and when it does you begin to feel a whole new level of sensibility, knowing and hilarity.

During the years, we've may have gone through everything there is possibly possible - anything that may go wrong has gone wrong, and well, anything that is incredibly strange, has been made stranger. And I love him for it! This ranges from 'planking' in front of an old fellow whilst he was driving in his sheltered mobility scooter, and he didn't actually want to stop! To setting off smoke bombs on James' balcony and disappearing and choking the fumes. We went camping about a year ago with a few of our friends, and on the first night, whilst pissing about, I preceded to accidentally dislocate his thumb. Another note is when we went on a bike ride a few years back, and only having a laugh with one of our mates, we rode our bikes into James' legs, consequently putting him on crutches, after he'd torn a big number of ligaments -_- Ooops.


Its strange how a best friendship starts really - some people 'click' together, some people slowly get to know each other. On the other hand, the twat and I HATED each other for the first couple of months! It was strange. We met at our ex-drama school, and both wanted to be better than each other (I still find this funny!) Our first show together was somewhat reminiscent of the battle between Leonidas and Xerxes in the film '300'. Me being the tall tanned one, and him being the one who ends up slumped in a pile filled with hundreds of arrows... AHAHAHAHA! But no, seriously, it was big-assed rivalry. Though after a while, of telling each other jokes and making other people laugh, we decided to cram our 'funniness' together, and here we are. He's the only person, whenever I've answered the front door to him, who greets me with a smile and the words "Morning Fuckface!" How can you not smile back?

I've got one problem though.

I'm auditioning for drama schools based in London in a few months, and next year, if I leave, I'm going to miss him. Where the hell am I going to find comfort and laughter? Where can I find another short, messed up wally like him?... Answer. I won't be able to.

I will miss you. My twat.

Rant over.