The littlest things.

Oh how I laughed my head off, and I mean deep belly laugh, when I saw this photo. It's now become one of those photos for me that will stick into my mind, and when I think of it, I'll do the strange chuckle to myself - while I'm surrounded by other people.
   We all know what I'm talking about. The strange looks we get back because we full on laughed at something in our heads. I find it hilarious; not only watching people do it, but knowing that I've done it myself; a weird 'high' feeling goes through me.
   So you go baby, you get your toothless gums and eat that watermelon LIKE A BOSS!

Rant over.

The late night menu.

My sleep pattern is buggered. I'm awake and can't fall into the land of dreams and shit like that. I'll try to picture sheep, jumping over a white picket fence.

One... Two... Three... Four... Five... FUCK OFF SHEEP! GO TO SLEEP!

I've just gone into my kitchen, and raided some munchies, healthy mind you; grapes. So that's my late night snack - Grapes and a small glass of apple juice. Two of my 5-a-day and it's only 00:34. Standard.

Rant over.

I watch the tele... when it's off -_-

During my school years, and the past two at college, I've been 'interpreted' by people as BARMY, WACKY, CRUDE and SENSELESS. I've been told to "Get help..." and "Calm the fuck down", because guess what readers; I'm me! Primary school mainly saw me as a boy who was the nerd of nerds, who ate his lunch in the library and sniffed pencils - this may have brushed over onto my beginning days of high school but hey-hoh. But when I began to meet people who loved me for who I am, some who were and still are friends, some enemies, I felt as though I could POP right out of my shell.
   Like a baby chick with one leg.
       Wait that's a bad example! Scratch that!
So I'm riding down the street and I sneeze so loudly, and proceed to look into the face of the old dear who noticed, only to say "Terrible weather Dorris, toodlepip!"

I did not know this woman.

I usually tend to be very spontaneous. I like to do things on the fly. And am I proud of it? HELL YEAAAHHH! I like being me; not some non-emotional, prim&proper creep. Don't try to change me please.
   But somedays, I do think what it would be like, if I hadn't of lost my mind on the road to Amarillo. It's like I wake up every morning and I'm hugging my pillow. I remember the dream I had about Ama... you know where this is going right? Hehe.

I do miss it - my sanity. But I don't think I'd ever want it back.

Rant over.

Yes, I get emotional at films.

We all like watching films - Going to the cinema, lounging back munching on some sweet popcorn (salted for those that way inclined) and watching a blockbuster; it's part of our lifestyle. I find films so engrossing, so interesting that their plot and characters stick in my mind.
   So we've established we like the cinema. We can also establish the fact that we hate the cinema when some seven foot string bean comes and, out of the whole auditorium, chooses to sit smack-bang in front of us. Why does he feel this is necessary?! Can't he see that some of us are of small stature? At this point, I'm referring to you the public, because at six foot two, I'm slowly edging into this 'annoying string bean' category.
   My main rant today is about how films can touch our emotions on so many different levels. Me, for instance; I get emotional at the endings of several films. The end of the Star wars saga; when Luke is reunited with the 'Anakin Skywalker' side of his father - it's such a brilliant ending. So don't judge me when I say I do shed a tear to this. The ending of King Kong, when Kong dies - Jheez! You get so attached to him, then he goes and falls off one of the tallest buildings in the world. He falls and falls and falls and BANG; I'm left saddened.
   What I want to know, is that am I the only one in this boat? Anyone else feel the slow drift of emotional tide rushing through them towards the end of a good film?

Rant over.

Fancy a nice pint of throw-up?

I'm not eighteen. Not for another 39 days.
   And I'm not particularly fussed about venturing out into the baron wastes of town and drinking till I'm caked out on the ground with a small bit of foam at the mouth. I will relish the moment when I'm eighteen. So it gets on my tits when people makes fusses about going out, and getting pissed, whilst 'underage'. 
   Yeah, I drink. But I'm no alcoholic. If I'm 'round a mates house with a few of us playing xbox or chilling to music, then yeah I'll have a cider or beer. But I don't see the point of going out, freezing your knackers off for a couple of drinks in a stingy, drunk infested bar, only to struggle to get home with the worst hangover known to man. 
   I'm the sort of guy who will enjoy sitting in a small smokey jazz club, sipping on a beer, listening to some guy playing A-minor on the trumpet. I'm chilled to the bone. Don't judge me - I can wait till January.


Rant over.

You feeling me?

Excuse me for saying so, but I hate it when people upload photos to the internet of themselves being a vain, posing like they're some page 3 wannabe, and when they get positive comments, they have the audacity to reply "Nawwwwww, I'm not. I'm ugly :(" 

If you were ugly, would you really be comfortable with uploading a slutty picture of yourself to the internet? No. No you wouldn't.

So take the hint. 

Me - I've got spots. I've not got pearly white teeth. And I haven't got a six pack. But you know what I do have... Eyes, ears, a mouth and a heart. I'm comfortable with myself, and I'm comfortable with what people think about me. 

Rant over.

If there is a problem, there is a solution.

Honestly - No there isn't. Some problems are just there to be bitches to us, and mess us about and twist our lives around in ways that we don't want them to be twisted.

It is somewhat reminiscent of a 'stretchy toy' with a tear and all the flour just seeping out.

I feel this kids anger. I'm not feeling the haircut as much -_-

Rant over.

It's loosing its touch.

This post contains strong language.
Yep, it's safe to say, I've come to the conclusion that facebook is boring. If you read my past facebook-featured post, in which I ranted on about the pornographic and mentally disturbing photographs that plagued the worlds 'most popular' social networking site, then you'll probably guess that towards the end of it, I was getting to the end of my tether. But recently, I have found no use for the site whatsoever. I suppose that it does feel useless to most people every now and then, but there comes a time when you log in to the 'book, and you feel as if you just want to cry. Not because of sadness or being unhappy - but because you can't stand the shit that is posted on there and what people are rambling on about. I don't get it?

Mark Zuckerberg created the site so people locally and globally could share photos and chat with each other over the tinternet. I personally think that was a pretty good idea. But nope, people only want to put how depressing life is, how much they hate an ex-lover, how much they hate school or just upload a photo of a stick in the woods and say "Wow, look at this stick."
I'm sorry, but if I wanted to admire a random stick,

I'D WALK DOWN A FUCKING WOODS MYSELF OKAY?! 

I just don't see the point of these useless posts that people feel are entertaining others.

Whats the point in trying to make the most 'friends' on the site? I can say that out of all of my 740 'friends' on facebook, I know ALL of them. Some of them not so personally, but I have heard of them; friends of friends, family etc. But not a single one is unknown to myself. I find it stupid how people can brag about having 2000 "friends"...

"Do you know who Tamzin Achbah is?"

"Nope."

"THEN HOW ARE THEY YOUR FUCKING FRIEND?!!"

Again, I'm at the end of my tether with this.

To conclude this post, and finish your most thrilling bit of reading of the day, I'd like to add - Dear Mark Z. Please make a dislike button. I think I speak for everyone in saying that it would make my facebook experience a bit more entertaining. Thankyou.


On the upside, I found a clip of a two legged horse running.

Rant over.

"Are we not like two volumes of one book?"

I can't see the 'campness'... can you?

Its about time I wrote about this twat. Introducing James - my best mate. Where would I be today if I hadn't of met him 5 years ago? To tell the truth, I'd be a very boring person. I mean, I wasn't that boring in the days before these, I was able to have a laugh, and create one too, but this guy here is the centre of my banter! Since I first met him in the sweet little year of 2006, my life has been on its ups, downs, round and round and back through a dark misty tunnel like some campy 90's theme park ride. Its strange how you are suddenly attached to one person like ZZAP!, but it happens, and when it does you begin to feel a whole new level of sensibility, knowing and hilarity.

During the years, we've may have gone through everything there is possibly possible - anything that may go wrong has gone wrong, and well, anything that is incredibly strange, has been made stranger. And I love him for it! This ranges from 'planking' in front of an old fellow whilst he was driving in his sheltered mobility scooter, and he didn't actually want to stop! To setting off smoke bombs on James' balcony and disappearing and choking the fumes. We went camping about a year ago with a few of our friends, and on the first night, whilst pissing about, I preceded to accidentally dislocate his thumb. Another note is when we went on a bike ride a few years back, and only having a laugh with one of our mates, we rode our bikes into James' legs, consequently putting him on crutches, after he'd torn a big number of ligaments -_- Ooops.


Its strange how a best friendship starts really - some people 'click' together, some people slowly get to know each other. On the other hand, the twat and I HATED each other for the first couple of months! It was strange. We met at our ex-drama school, and both wanted to be better than each other (I still find this funny!) Our first show together was somewhat reminiscent of the battle between Leonidas and Xerxes in the film '300'. Me being the tall tanned one, and him being the one who ends up slumped in a pile filled with hundreds of arrows... AHAHAHAHA! But no, seriously, it was big-assed rivalry. Though after a while, of telling each other jokes and making other people laugh, we decided to cram our 'funniness' together, and here we are. He's the only person, whenever I've answered the front door to him, who greets me with a smile and the words "Morning Fuckface!" How can you not smile back?

I've got one problem though.

I'm auditioning for drama schools based in London in a few months, and next year, if I leave, I'm going to miss him. Where the hell am I going to find comfort and laughter? Where can I find another short, messed up wally like him?... Answer. I won't be able to.

I will miss you. My twat.

Rant over.

A watercolour life?

via my-watercolor-guide.com

Each day I wake up and think how cool my daily life would be if it was totally in watercolour - how smoothly, how vibrant, how psychedelic it would be. Chores and essays and outings would flow smoothly into the next.

I'd wake up, have some breakfast, take a shower; all the while some eighties dance tunes are playing alongside. I'd go downstairs and open the curtains, and let the sun shine brightly in. The whole experience would be like a day spent on a magic mushroom (though I have never tried one myself.) The feeling of being permanently happy - with yourself and with everyone else.  

            Nothing can get in my way. 

Hey, it would go something like this.

 

This song just puts me in a good mood from the instant I press the 'play' button...

Rant over.

We all wanna be superheroes right?

During my absence; my two days illness, I have thought about many things while lying in bed with a rampant headache, and stomach pains that could hinder a three-legged donkey.

Money. Food. Peace. Love. Super powers.

I'm writing this whilst still lying in bed, under the heavy influence of warm ribena and toast. You see, and we all think about this at some point in our lives - I want to be a superhero.

The thought of flying across the sky, with no limits. The thought of swimming underwater, and not drowning. The thought of seeing through walls. It's all mind-boggling. And it's very easy to get lost in these thoughts, especially when you're lying here like me - ill, weak, and incredibly hungry. The human being is born with the instinct to change. To change his or hers life, maybe other peoples lives. You see, I have this problem where when I'm walking somewhere, and I've got my music plugged in, I fuck off to some other exotic country; I picture myself flying around with a set of wings on my back, swooping down, picking up wankers, and dropping them from a small height, never meaning to kill anyone... only meaning to maim or seriously injure - thank you Dobby for that quote.

I lay here now, and think "what would it be like if I had superFAST powers?" Being superfast would be A-ma-zing! I could get essays done in the click of a finger. Cook in seconds and get anywhere in an instant. It seems to me that God chose to make us human beings as plain as he possibly could, though each of us is certainly unique. I just find it hard to believe that superpowers don't exist?!

You hearin' me?

Rant over.

I'm off trollin'!

There have been so many 'found footage' films released in the past few years. It all started with Paranormal Activity*1*, and how believable it all seemed - though a year later, with the entrance of a sequel, it was deemed fake. But people still find it scarily brilliant to watch. With the third instalment recently hitting cinemas, and finding mixed reviews, I think the activities of paranormal beings are finished. But that leaves the way for many more of these 'found footage' gems!

Last night, I watched Troll Hunter. And I was impressed.

via. bestmoviesever.com

This film has everything - Three university students. A high tech camera. A hardened troll hunter and lots of big-assed trolls that "piss everywhere!" It's set in Norway, where the legends of the trolls originate, and the script is entirely in norwegian (with english subtitles to help us understand it.) I myself grew up reading these tales, and have a big love for the gruesome, smelly, 100ft mammals! I found myself utterly gripped at all points, wanting to know what was going to happen next and how they were going to get out of all the mess they were in.

I'm going to finish here because I don't want to spoil it for those who haven't seen it, but believe me, it's well worth the watch!

Rant over.


*1* Some people could argue that the film that started the sensation was Cloverfield, but we all know that is fake from the start... One because the Statue of Liberty still has her head, and two New York hasn't been devastated with a massive nuclear bomb. 

Time goes by...

Its strange how time will just float on by. I woke up this morning, and seriously reminisced about my childhood. It's strange isn't it - how we do these things from time to time? Our childhoods are possibly the greatest days of our lives, because we're not tied down to any commitments: coursework, work, money issues. My childhood was such a big collection of the proverbial 'banter'.

And I do feel sad about not seeing the friends that I got so close to in those days. But everybody moves on, makes new ones and has the time of their lives. During my time at primary school I moved house 4 times, and moved between 4 different schools - so I was accustomed to making new friends, but sadly, at that age, without a mobile phone, I could not keep in personal contact with all these new chums I had made. I remember playing playstation with my mates, running around a wood with sticks for swords and guns, and of course, the push-bike races! At school - we'd trade Pokemon cards, or Yu-Gi-Oh cards (when both sets were at their peak) and never play the actually trading card game!

Those days were the best.

Primary school is where my love for acting really came through too - playing a scurvy Pirate Captain/Teacher began it all. Wearing a makeshift eyepatch, socks pulled up to my knees, and rocking out the Adidas trainers on my feet - I didn't care. I was in front of a crowd of people, doing something that I finally enjoyed. No change there then.

~

I have got back into contact with most of my old buddies, and it's great to hear about their lives and how they're getting on. I makes me feel great to be honest. 

But sometimes, when I'm on my own, I wish I could turn back the clocks, and relive the greatest moments of my childhood. Because the thought of it brings a tear to my eye, literally. 

Rant over.

Pornbook?

Facebook lost quite a lot of users a couple of days ago... what for? Cyberbullying? Boredom? None of these... for it was the big load of hot steamy porn images that flooded newsfeeds across the world that did it! 'Pornbook' as I now like to call it, has been the hub of social interacting since 2004, and with nearly 10 years in the bank, it has decided to sponsor a relatively well known website - Pornhub.

Only joking! But it seems like it, doesn't it?

I remember the day well; 

I had college at 9am sharp, until midday. I struggled to get up that morning due to the lack of sleep the previous night, but I forced myself through my sleepiness and awoke, showered, dressed and made my way into college for a morning of hardcore Shakespeare. It was a slow morning, with a long drag through several literature lessons, but finally, I was able to leave the college and go home. As I walked through the front door I craved a hot cup of tea - but socialising called in first, and I quickly turned on my laptop to check my facebook. I started up iTunes and played a piece of smooth 50's jazz, Nat King Cole - Love Me As Though There We're No Tomorrow, before starting up Safari and clicking my bookmark for facebook. It loaded a while, then...

BAM!!!

A PICTURE OF AN ERECT PENIS WITH A KNIFE THROUGH IT! 

I sat there, and without intentionally wanting to, stared at my newsfeed. What the hell had happened? I left that morning with a relatively clean newsfeed - just the occasional argument and a drunken status here and there. But what was this new venture facebook had gotten into?! I scrolled down and found more of these 'sexplicit' photos: Naked women, naked MEN, dead animals and some 'big-ass boned' lady with some dudes head lost between her legs! -_-

Now, I have been a member of facebook since late 2008, and never have I seen anything like this. I was shocked to say the least. And apparently, it all started from a Sharon O'brien? Who posted naughty underwear shots of herself on her page? But this is normal, we all know somebody who does this... BUT WHERE THE FUCK DID THE SEX AND DISTURBINGLY WEIRD PHOTOS COME FROM?! 

I haven't deleted my account to facebook because I like to SOCIALISE, and not get off to some guy pushing a naked girl into a huge latex vagina! I will precede to play my xbox and tweet on twitter until this explicit rampage has come to a climax!

Rant over.

Guess Who's Back...

Let's just say it's been a while... just over a week, since my last post, and I'm back with a vengeance! My whole week has been jam packed with, how do I put this, very interesting 'goings-on'.

Breakdown;
A trip to Brighton to the theatre, a very smelly train ride home, along with a cheeky bit of shopping. Essay writing, parents evening, cola drinking and even a wee bit of eating here and there. I've been a busy lad, and I haven't had time to inform you of any stories lately, and for that I'm sorry.

But I'm back, and I'm staying.

Rant over.

R.I.P Fallen Heroes

With the tears a Land hath shed
Their graves should ever be green.
~Thomas Bailey Aldrich

Comment with a heart to show your respect <3

I like the idea of tweed.

This, my friends, has been in the making a number of days now, and I finally feel like I can tell all.

*Be warned, I have just been asleep for 15 minutes or so, meaning my writing may not make sense at some points*

The other day, whilst sitting in a slow-moving english lesson, I, along with some pals, discovered that I would make a pretty decent teacher. Not only that, but a teacher of literature. I came up with the idea of teaching 'modern literature' such as Harry Potter. Then it struck me... why not lecture JRR Tolkein's Lord Of The Rings?! It's perfect - a massive open world with thousands of characters and ideas. 

I then perhaps thought about it in too much detail; How I'd look. My teaching style etc. 

I'll pitch you my idea... 

Maybe without the hunting rifle? -_-

I'd sit there, in my padded desk chair, in a green tweed jacket, matching waistcoat and trousers to fit. A monocle on one eye, and a small glass of brandy in my right hand, with a pipe sitting neatly between my lips. 

"Morning class! Right, straight to work. Discuss the reason for hobbits and their hairy feet. 3000 words. Go."

In hindsight, the way I would dress and my teaching style may be a little prehistoric for students of the modern day, and sipping brandy in a glass - just wouldn't happen. But moving swiftly on. 

At the end of a hard days teaching, I'd return home to my little hobbit hole, in 'Downtown Middle Earth' which is suitably located just under the equator. Not south. But just underneath the equators line. In a hole. Don't mind me.

I really think, with a few tweaks, I could do this in later life. What do you think? How about a fictional diary in the meantime to bring my posher-self to life? 

Rant over.

That problem we all face...

I can tell you now readers, I'm certainly not the only one who's been through this little predicament.

We all fall a foul (excuse the unintentional pun) of this slight problemo. And who should we blame? Our mum? No. Our dad? No. Our siblings? No. Ourselves for being too fussed with relieving ourselves to forget one vital ingredient in the miracle of 'lavatory etiquette'? I think so I'm afraid. We bring this shit-heap (and again -_-) of a problem down on ourselves. I find it amusing how much we tend to forget about the toilet paper, even when the idea of making 'bodily recycling' has crossed our minds minutes, even hours before. 

*Please excuse all the random substitutions for having a shit, I just cannot bring myself to say all the other vulgar terms... oh crap...*

We all have experienced the wonders of school, college or university, and for some reason, for years of our lives, we're put off using the toilets provided for us. Why is this? I reckon us as a collective don't want to embarrass ourselves whilst making a 'poo-poo' because we're worried that we may squeeze out a cheeky bit of wind and become the laughing stock of the institution. Who cares?! Everybody in the world and their grannies do it. 

This is a random rant and forgive me for being quite disgusting in my language and manner. Sorry.

Rant over.

"Life is never easy for those who dream..."

Nearly every morning I wake up, and think 'Fuck, that was a pretty good dream" But you are always unable to get back to sleep and back into that dream which makes you feel like a totally new person and lets you live, not by any old rules, but by your rules.

I love writing. It gives me a ticket to escape the natural universe and become a member of my own little world. Somewhere where I take things for granted and live every moment as if it's my last. I think an awful lot too. Sometimes good things. Sometimes bad things. But that's beside the point in my little world - I can be who I want to be there and not worry about being brought down. 

Not only do I do this whilst I'm writing, and sleeping... but I do this whenever I walk somewhere, where I'm on my own. I put some music in. I'm there. You may do this from time to time too. 

I feel like jumping. Out of nowhere. And know for a fact that when I land, I'll be fine.

I forget my troubles and forget my worries. Just for a second. A minute maybe. 

And when I come back to reality, I'm a different guy. A nicer guy. Somebody someone can love.

Rant over.

Oh no... I'm there again!

Right readers, this is something that affects even the best of us. Youtube is something that revolutionised our world - it took video watching and sharing to new, unseen levels. People everyday tune in to the internet sensation to keep a check on their recently subscribed channels featuring videos of movie reviews, gameplay, vlogging... but you all know what I mean when I say, and I'm pretty sure you've done this too...

                        "Shit... I'm in that weird part of youtube again!"

Memes with dancing stormtroopers, ugly fat chicks that cannot sing, and even somebody popping the largest zit ever on a family members back... errggghhhhhh! But how do we get to this, quite frankly, disturbing area of the 'tube? Nobody knows. I was talking to a mate the other day, and he said how he went from watching a music video of Ed Sheerans' latest song, to watching a bald american guy shave his cat for 5 minutes... -_- ... and he felt almost abused by youtube for sending him on this track of weirdness.

I personally have been a victim, and now consider myself a local resident of 'that weird part of youtube' because youtube is a dick and always manages to send me there. From gorillas masturbating... to clips of the biggest spiders in the world (don't ask me how I ended up there, I hate the bastards!) Youtube appears to be on a never-ending quest to mentally scar rest of the world and I.

Rant over.

Oh great, I'm there again -_- 

The seX-factor

You knew it was coming! I have been wondering what to right for this shit-heap of a show for ages now, and I can finally express my feelings after the loss of Johnny Robinson - bad times! This years contestants are a strange bunch; consisting of a 30 year old pussy who always cries at everything, a teen sex addict with a strange addiction to hair product and Johnny, the most lovely, heartwarming middle aged man you'll ever meet, with a voice to match! The rest of the singers have okay voices.

Week by week, another good contestant is voted out, and the shit ones stay in... do we expect anything more from the X-Factor? A prime example is Jedward making it nearly to the end! And Wagner... do I need to go any further?! But Johnny, who was voted out last night by the Judges themselves, deserved to stay in longer, over Kitty, who is the biggest cry-baby I've ever seen on live tele. Louis even shed a tear when Johnny gave his last speech to the public... if you miss him that much already Mr. Walsh, then maybe you should of sent Kitty home YOU WANKER!

Johnny Robinson, who had a perfect ballad voice, struggled on most of the more upbeat numbers, but ultimately came out on top! You go J! Yet still he was sent home - and Kitty, who's voice is pretty similar to every other leading female artist, and who clearly cannot see a thing when she sings... was kept in.

To be fair, Johnny would of struggled getting a record deal, because of the 'ballad-style' voice he has - he isn't very versatile, but boy did he attempt to be! But he has way more talent that the cat with 9-lives (she appears to have 9 lives because she keeps coming back) and he is a much nicer person. 

His immortal words will live on with me - 'I wanna thank everyone out there in the UK who accepted me for just being me.'  Could you get a nicer guy than Johnny?

Well ones things for certain, Louis has lost the X-factor this year, because I hope Kitty falls out a window and lands on her back. 

Rant over.

Now this is random... Game Music

Now this is something that has always affected me, and I reckon it always will - and I really hope that all you hardcore old school handheld gamers out there get this too. As you well know, the latest soundtracks to come out with games are all variated; Hardcore metal, dance, rock, pop... but you know what will never be forgotten... Handheld 8-bit soundtracks! <3

I just get that feeling whenever I hear a soundtrack to an old game I used to thumb away at on my gameboy or DS... My heart and head explode with nostalgia! We all remember those days, where games would take you an age to complete, if you ever did complete them and you could be so engrossed in something so small and less advanced in graphics - Well they were the best graphics ever in those days, compared to now :( 

Told you it was horny...

What were your favourite games? Mine were the original Pokemons, right up to Ruby & Sapphire. Who'd of thought that running around in the grass trying to catch an incredibly horny Metapod, who always seemed to get hard at the sight of you, was so thrilling?! But it was, and a big reason why... the music! Because we used to get so involved with these games, their soundtracks became engraved into our minds and, well, they became part of our lives.



But there is something so strange about that unique '8-bit' sound that stays with us. Take this for example; the original Pokemon battle music - PURE BLISS! Especially at 0:55 onwards... Pokemon Red, Yellow, Blue Battle Music

I'm going to move swiftly on from the delightful little pocket monsters, and onto a personal favourite of mine - Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney <3
      This game, my first game on the DS, was so good. Being able to become an attorney; investigating, examining and questioning witnesses, it was brilliant! It took me ages to complete because I got so involved (like we all do with certain games) and again, the music just brought it to a whole new level, like this... Ace Attorney - Turnabout Sisters.

About a year ago, I began to miss these golden days so much, that I went out and bought an old gameboy colour, along with a few Pokemon games and re-bought Ace Attorney (which I now play on my sisters DS.)

I became happy once more.

Rant over.

'Tis the season to be jolly...

Well look, it's nearly winter... oh crap, that means snow.

For generations, people have grown up dreaming of that festive "white christmas" and for many, it never came. It had grown into a near myth. They got a few flakes of the white crunchiness and they were happy. But lately, over the past three or so years, we have been getting snow. And snow we have been getting! It comes, then never goes. It falls and falls and falls and falls and lays and lays and lays and we slip, and the postman slips and all the cars go crash bang alakazam... What on earth happened?

... Global warming happened.

Its pretty straight forward.
         1) The snow comes around late November and we bask in its amazing 'whiteness'
         2) We play, dance, sing and frolic in the snow
         3) Start getting cold and grumpy
     
By the time we get to 4, it's mid/late December, everybody hates it and the snow has been trodden down so much that it is now what we call an "Extreme Road Hazard"... or its scientific name - Ice.

We will never get a 'white christmas' as it seems to always be a 'grey miserable christmas'.

Rant over.

Chart Music... Is it that good?

If you ask me, most of todays chart music is, how do I put this, to an acquired taste. Mostly people who are open to listen to anything the industry throws at them, or horny schoolgirls 'completely and utterly in love' with the latest rapper or pre-pubesant boy-wonder!

What happened to the golden day of jazz, blues and country? These were the days of true music - Music played live in front of a small club, smokey atmosphere and a few drinks at the bar. I admit I wasn't alive in these days, but who's to say I can't dream? I'm very one way about my music, it's either 50's Jazz or House/Dance music. Yeah, they're totally in the opposite direction, but they both have something about them that really touches me inside;
                   Jazz music has that natural, chilled out tone to it that shows the real skill of the singer and band. They're doing it themselves... No autotune. They can actually sing!
                   House music rarely has singing, but it's not the skill of the singer I'm worried about - its the skill of the DJ. They too are doing it themselves and they make they're own personal sound distinctive from every other DJ out there.

I'm a big lover of console gaming, and I currently own a big chunky Xbox360 and as of a year ago, I fell in love with the game Fallout. Now this is the part where all you 'non-gaming' readers go "Boring!" but hear me out - A big reason why I love this game is 'cause I can walk around the desert shooting at giant mutated ants, but not only that - I can listen to 50's jazz & blues while doing it. The in-game soundtrack is possibly the greatest soundtrack a game could have been given, because its not some 'button-mash' hardcore-metal driven carnage; you really get time to admire the game and the music.
Backstory - A nuclear war has raged on for over two hundred years, and the world is still stuck in the 1950's. Now set in the year 2281, peoples fashion, style and way of life are still in the old world...
                                            I've never wanted to be in a game as much as I do this one!

Sorry about that little diversion, back to the rant...
Everybody on this earth has they're own opinion on music. For people it's a hobby. A way of life. Part of their culture.

Me. Its all three.

I miss the days of old when music was in its true brilliance.

Rant over.

Some crackin' photographs.

Copyright Jackson Tigwell 2011 - All Rights Reserved

Copyright Jackson Tigwell 2011 - All Rights Reserved

Copyright Jackson Tigwell 2011 - All Rights Reserved

Copyright Jackson Tigwell 2011 - All Rights Reserved

Copyright Jackson Tigwell 2011 - All Rights Reserved

Copyright Jackson Tigwell 2011 - All Rights Reserved

Copyright Jackson Tigwell 2011 - All Rights Reserved

Copyright Jackson Tigwell 2011 - All Rights Reserved

Copyright Jackson Tigwell 2011 - All Rights Reserved

Copyright Jackson Tigwell 2011 - All Rights Reserved

Copyright Jackson Tigwell 2011 - All Rights Reserved

Hallow'been and gone...

Right, this is my first post... can you see this? Oh stuff it, as long as I can see it, then that's all that matters to me.

Didn't Hallowe'en come round quick? Not only that, but the celebrations for it seemed to stretch on for an eternity, long before the day itself - and then as soon as the scariest night of the year beckons at our doorways, in the form of snotty-nosed kids dressed in cheap tatty ASDA price rags, it's over.

I myself had two costumes this hallowe'en; A) A rip off Hunter from the console game Left4Dead, and B) A scary Joker in a trench coat who looked more like a pedophile on a 'treating-spree'...

The white tie made me seem Russian Mafia-esque.

I hardly drunk, all but two cans of cider, and even that is not enough to make me a convincing supposed batman-style pedophile. I chilled out mainly listening to 50's blues and jazz for the majority of the evening. But one thing that really did get to me these past couple of days... The cheek of old people on this sugar-fest for children!

I have two younger sisters who were both raring to dress up, go out and rob other families of their diabetes-enducing treats, and the night before Hallowe'en, when they were preparing their costumes, our next door neighbour knocks on the door. I let my mother answer the door 'cause I'm not good with dealing with the local oldies, and when she did, the old fella chatted for a while before preceding to hand the girls a bag of haribo each - followed by the line "Here you go girls, these are so you don't have to come round and bother us tomorrow" ...

          Let us take that back one more time...

   "Here you go girls, these are so you don't have to come round and bother us tomorrow"

Little bit of background information for you readers; my sisters are eight and love Hallowe'en. Our neighbours, both around the region of 'moody-old-farts', obviously have a secret hatred for the younger generation of the road, because on any other day, they are quite pleasant to my siblings, but because it is a time for children to raid the cupboards of other persons, they now don't want them to "bother" them. 

Come say that to me you grumpy old turd, and I'll show you what Hallowe'en is really about... mainly me throwing several local eggs through your bedroom window and a bag of fresh dog sh*t on your doorstep.

Rant over.